What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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The NBA lockout

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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