A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Miami Heat.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

What's funnier than 24? 25.

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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