what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

What do you call a bear. Rob.

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

yeyeyeyeye live action

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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