Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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whats chinese noodles

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops