What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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