Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what is long black and smelly the welfare line

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops