A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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Justin

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops