Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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