A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

How many mathematicians does it take to count?

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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