Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your skull would make a nice pen holder

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You had better thumbs up this post.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops