A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Flowers are colors Love me

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +2

once you go black your credit goes wack

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops