If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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Joke

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops