I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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Guess Penn State Is Holding Jerry Sandusky Day this Saturday against Nebraska. All Kids 10 and Under get in Free...

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops