Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

thumb_up thumb_down +10

24

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The latter three thousand pages of this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down +8

titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops