What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

Knock Knock, Ow my face

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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