What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops