you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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