I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops