"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops