After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

96

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops