What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Winter

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops