Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

Racial equality.

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

George Bush.

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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