What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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