Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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