Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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What do u call a beaner when he stands up 4 foot nothing

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops