Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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smell the vitamin C

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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