Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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hi mom

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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ecks! why zee?

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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