Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Joesph Triphook.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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rocky is here again.......................

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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