What comes after 69... Mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -13

. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Come right on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anyone can post anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops