Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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robin, get in the car.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Kevin and Ramin

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops