A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

What happened to the convict on death row? He died

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

Knock knock Shut up

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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