why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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