Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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The latter three thousand pages of this website.

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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A Mormon walks into a bar

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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69

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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EGGPLANT

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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