How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

My mum is called Steve

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

Do u take sugar?

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

Knock Knock CUM IN!

nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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