Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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boobs.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

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What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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2 black men beat 9 white men in basketball. Why is this so? They were clearly out numbered.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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