How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Continents are large islands.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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when debbie meets downer

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops