What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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