What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i put a oie in the oven, it baked

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops