Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Smeg...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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hey justin

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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A man walks into a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops