What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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