What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops