What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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i like men but im not gay

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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