Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

Safe sex MR

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

Why are black people good at basketball? Because they practice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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