What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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