Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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