A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You dropped something.... Yo lip

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops