- Anti Joke

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

DON"T READ THIS!

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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