How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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a black man pays his child support

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Women's rights

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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