how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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What's circular and round A circle

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops