What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

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What's brown and Rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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what do you call two mexicans playing basketball? juan on juan

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops