why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

if life hands u melons, make melonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Come right on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

McDonald. It's run by Lawers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops