That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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Smelly Indians.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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This sentence is a lie.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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all the kids had fun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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